Realization #2

In case any of you have just started reading my blog, over the past year I have been very confused at times about my beliefs. Religion has always been something very important to me. It has been a blessing and a curse. It allows me to have a way to explain my life but it also gives me a reason to doubt the existence of a god.

Last year, I was going to go through confirmation at my church but I was worried because of my thoughts on the "Big Bang" Theory, and evolution among other things. I thought that I couldn't believe in evolution and god without being a hypocrite. So instead of talking to my pastor about it I just made a billion lies of omission so that everyone around me could go on living while I thought about what I should do.

Well lately things have been coming into focus. I've started to realize how I'm not a hypocrite and why. I've finally realized how you can never be sure in faith. You can't be certain. If you think that you are completely certain in your faith then you are not only ignorant but a hypocrite.

It is a fact that almost 90% of Christians have never read the bible cover to cover. I have (It took a long time). The one thing that I learned from that experience was how many parts of the bible have another part that contradicts it. Because of that 1 simple fact, I was able to realize that all the people who would put their lives in the hands of the bible and god on pure blind faith are hypocrites. I know this one girl who preaches that god is the only way and all who do not give their lives to him are going to hell. But when I ask her about rules from the bible (i.e eating shrimp, rabbit, pig, wearing two different fabrics together) she openly acknowledges that she does them until I mention that they are rules from the bible.

Last weekend I went to an inter-presbytery event to learn about lent. While I was there I found meaning in something I'd never found any profound meaning in before. The cross. Anyone who knows their history knows that the cross the the church uses is inaccurate. The Christian church has been using a lower case "t" to display how Christ was crucified for who knows how long. The one thing that not that many people know is that in ancient Rome the cross used for crucifixions was in the shape of an upper case "T". So to explain the meaning I found in the cross last weekend.

The cross is the perfect example of how to have faith you need to have doubt. It shows that the church and the bible is filled with misconceptions and contradictions. It shows that to have faith you do not need to put your entire life in the hands of your faith. It shows that everything in the bible is not true word for word and it should be left up to interpretation by the individual who reads it. It shows that you need a mix in between faith and reason to lead the life you want to live.